Backing Tips to save your marriage

[CincyGus]

I, like many of you, have a spouse that does not understand the art of communication through mirrors or windows. When we got our first camper (a popup), I needed no help because I could see over it and around it. After years of backing up to stock trailers and 2 horse trailers, I was pretty good at centering on the inside of the tailgate and judging distance from the camper to get close to the ball.

Last Feb, we upgraded to a TT and the sight issues caused by the taller camper along with it being brand new, made me ask for guidance when backing, just as a precaution.

I quickly learned that my wife is very good at arm flailing, walking out of sight of the mirrors and continues to do the same thing she does in the house which is talk to me from a distance or looking in a direction that I have no chance of hearing her or reading her lips.

I tried explaining to her that if she can not see my eyes in the large mirrors on our truck, I can not see her. That didn't help nor did it stop her from walking behind the trailer and flailing.

So I told her to help her remember to stay within my sight, I would stop if I could no longer see her. That worked......for a while. I then discovered that my lovely wife was born with alligator arms. Meaning that they can go from completely wide open, stretched to each side, slightly waving her hands only at the wrist, to SNAPPING closed like a 10' gator in the swamps of La. All while I'm riding the break at idle speed. Damn Chevy is just too fast in reverse 😉

Luckily, besides being lovely, my DW gave me the best present in my life, my lovely DD. She, luckily for me, understands the concept of maintaining visual contact, looks at me when speaking so if I can not hear her, I have a chance to read lips and was born with human arms. A backing, hitching team was born!

So, for those of you that struggle with backing, my tips are as follows:

1) Find a plastic construction cone and go practice in a parking lot. By yourself. If that doesn't work move to step 2.

2) Ask your spouse to join you in the parking lot and explain visual contact, facing the driver's mirror when speaking and that adjustments and hand signals should be made gradually and far enough in advance to not require a 2' correction in the last 3" of backing. If not successful, move to step 3.

Bring a Son, Daughter, sign up for big brothers or sisters and take them camping or bother the guy sitting in his lawn chair at the campground drinking his beer and smirking at you while your spouse is inventing new words to call you.

The truth of the matter is, it's not hard to back with a little practice and anyone that sees it as stressful, needs to be removed from the equation. The other party should just take their time and do it nice and slow and it will get done, even if it means getting in and out of the vehicle a few extra times.

Hope you enjoyed my little story and are not living it.
Good camping (and backing) to all.

[rockhillmanor]

chracatoa wrote:
How do you see the cone on the other side when backing up if you can't back up straight for some reason?

Rule number 3:
I always try to back in a site coming from the direction that puts you in the position to use the 'drivers' side mirror. Sometimes just going around the block or road and coming in the opposite way to approach the site will accomplish that. This in it's self makes making a WHOLE 99.99% easier.

Answer to your question aim for as close to that cone as possible until you are straight enough and can see both, then you can center.

Important that you know the width of your RV so you put the cones that distance apart so you CAN shoot for just the one until the other comes into view to center your RV and then only back up as far as up to the cone. When pulling into a CG at night with no lights I will add 2 small cones to each side at the entrance to the site too.

I've been backing up into even the trickiest spots day or night with nothing but my 2 cone buddies for over 20 years. :C

[tomman58]

To hook up I normally back up the truck and get within 4 feet of ball. DW takes over and through my hand signals hits it usually on first try. We've done this for years without a hitch (pun intended)
When backing into a campsite I get out survey the area tell where to stand so I can see what I don't want to hit LOL.
At night I've given her a flashlight and had her point it at the spot for the one side of the TT upon getting there she goes to the back and waves the light when she wants me to stop, simple biz.

[deweysmith5]

My wife is fantastic at guiding me while backing the trailer so much so that even though I have done it myself several times I still have her to help guide me since I would rather error on the side of caution. However, I have seen spouses of both sexes helping to guide that seem to have no clue. Saw someone backing in a huge fifth wheel yesterday while his wife stood behind the camper waving her arms - there was no way he could see her. But rather than criticize he would get out of the TV and see for himself telling her that he just wanted to get his orientation. They have been married for a long time.

[pee-paw]

This is soooo funny.......because it's so true. I got a kick out of this. Thanks, Gus.

[K_sKamper]

paulcardoza wrote:
I take my cell phone, call DW's cell, put it on speakerphone and set it on the dash. Then she and I can both talk without pushing buttons and she does a great job of guiding me in.

Similar solution, husband cell comes thru the radio (Bluetooth) & I give directions on cell. After our three month trip we are getting pretty good at it.

[stetwood]

Right-Left-Stop

[Fastpaddler]

If you have your partner standing at the back as your are reversing you simply wait until he or she disappears and you know you have gone back far enough!Just joking. We use a set of Cobra CB radios because listening to my wife out the window doesnt work with my tinnitus.EH? What did you say?

[DocnAK]

azdryheat wrote:
Wife and I use walkie-talkies to back our 5r. No visual signaling required.

2 way radios work good!!

[chracatoa]

How do you see the cone on the other side when backing up if you can't back up straight for some reason?

[rockhillmanor]

Backing Tips to save your marriage

2 orange cones.

1. get out place cones on each corner of site where you want to back up to.

2. Back up centering your RV between the 2 orange cones that are readily visible in your side mirrors.

3. Pick up cones and throw them into the storage bay.

Does not get any EASIER than that!

They don't talk back, they don't give wrong instructions, and the best part? When you are done backing up, you can throw them in the bay and slam the door shut. Can't do THAT with a spouse. :B

Me and my 2 orange cones have been 'peacefully' RV'ing for 12 years now backing up quietly into our CG sites.:C

[Roy_Lynne]

Dear Wife, the men seem to be complaining about backing up and I have found the solution. You sit behind the wheel and you back it up. It really isn't the big deal that they are making it out to be. Just go slow and remember to brake the second they go out of view, hum although......
It might take a time or two because you have to remember that when your backing you need to turn the wheel the other way. Just go slow, take your time, feel the confidence. Oh and if you can find another lady to help, take the rig out and practice before hand. We speak the same language.

[Veebyes]

dcason wrote:
Hubby and I have this down pretty well.

If he cannot see me in mirrors, he doesn't move. So aim to be in his mirrors and we use hand signals. If it is a difficult spot, we might add our cell phones. HAHAHAH, once I saw a women using those lights that airline service people use to guide planes in...we laughed so hard at that one!

So maybe I am the exception to the rule. Hubby got my hand signals after a few times...now they are universal.
Donna

Having done spent some time on the ramp back in the day when we used to in-line park aircraft next to the terminal, don't laugh. The signals worked. No need for the dancing around though.

For sport we would place a coin on the tarmac & try to get the aircraft to stop nose wheels equal distance either side of the coin.

These days for the finer points of backing onto boards I get one handed signals with movement of fingers & a fist to stop. She is picky too. 1/2" out & it is do it again.

[sele]

we use cell phones whenever we can guess I am lucky the DW has a perfect understanding of backing and back the f'ver in a pinch like me wondering over 2 campsites to have a beer. OOP'S sorry will be right back to help her. NO really we both can back on either side and her dad deserves all the credit teaching her how to understand what she looked at in the mirrors.

[dcason]

Hubby and I have this down pretty well.

If he cannot see me in mirrors, he doesn't move. So aim to be in his mirrors and we use hand signals. If it is a difficult spot, we might add our cell phones. HAHAHAH, once I saw a women using those lights that airline service people use to guide planes in...we laughed so hard at that one!

So maybe I am the exception to the rule. Hubby got my hand signals after a few times...now they are universal.
Donna